Meet your new best friend.
He’s round. He’s unemployed.
He loves you.

Every Blorb is a little weirdo with a big heart. Ten new Blorbs just arrived at the shelter.
Adoption is free. They mostly survive on attention.

🧡 0 weirdo(s) adopted so far. Tap the 🔊 to hear them beg.

Batch 2 — meet all ten

Each Blorb has a personality, a habit, a backstory, and a voice. Press 🔊. You’ll know.

Take the test. The Blorb picks you, actually.

Coming to a timeline near you.

$Poster 1$

“I came with emotional damage. Mug included.” — Toast

Batch 2 family portrait. They don’t know they’re all up for adoption.

“Certified chaos. Handle with care. Or don’t. He likes it.” — Pickle

“Good morning. Again.” — Pancake (5am. on purpose.)

1. Pick your weirdoBrowse the batch. You’ll know.

2. Sign the paperworkIt’s fake. It’s fine.

3. They live in your phone nowFeed them attention. Loud praise also works.

Is this a real pet?

No. That’s the point.

Do they need food?

They need attention. Mostly your attention. And sometimes praise. Loud praise.

Why do they all have trauma?

Why do you?

Can they die?

Only of embarrassment.

What’s the adoption fee?

$0. Payment in belly rubs, kind words, and occasional chaos.

Returns?

Free returns. Just kidding. They’d cry.